i thought i may as well start with one of the most important things; what i eat. food.
i always try for 1100 cals max.. my boyfriend gets soo mad if i go under. it's really annoying because i'd love for my max to be lower, but it's really difficult with him.. yes it's amazing that he cares so much but he doesn't seem to care about how i feel - i feel disgusting more than half the time, and i need to have a way lower limit.. he cares about my physical health, but not my emotional health it seems. i'm sure he does, but not in the way i need him to. of course it's been getting worse and worse though.. as he attempts to keep my physical health intact, i strive to keep my psychological health in check, and trying for both does not seem to be working right now. well i do believe i could be just fine, physically, and emotionally.. but apparently my idea of physical health is unhealthy to my boyfriend. he is pretty good with health, but.. he's on a high protein, high fat, and high CAL diet. not exactly what i'm looking for eh! but i will do what i have to do to keep myself sane.. slowly i'll be cutting down my maximum of 1100 by 100 cals every few weeks til i'm comfortable or finally satisfied.. i will do my best not to go under 600 cal maximum though as my mum is a crazy health nut and will say something, and my boyfriend of course will notice it, especially as i eat as his house minimum twice a week, usually three times. fuck.
but i will make it work. i need to.
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