i can't believe all the people around me at lunch thursday (wish i could've posted sooner, super busy though!).. my boyfriend's a lot better. two small homemade oatmeal muffins, peanut butter and jam sandwich on whole wheat.. but the other guys. oh my lord. one guy had two pieces of pizza, obviously takeout, not homemade, with cookies.. cookies his chub girlfriend shared with him. another had a big long sandwich, a lot of meat (bologna, ugh) in it with no healthy anything, on a thick white italian bun. i can't believe they can eat all that without a problem, it's awful, how can they do that, how can they not care what or when or how much they eat? i don't understand.. i used to be able to do that.. this year though.. fuck. something changed this year. and i know what.. i'll come back to that. but this year i just can't eat whatever. it's gross. that is why i got up to my HW last year, and i only lost it all to my LW in january this year.. a good seven or so months. i can't let any of that happen again. i need to keep myself safe from that, can't wait for my GW! seeing them eating all that food at lunch.. *shudder* i can't let myself do that.
i won't let myself do that.
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