new math

new math exam the 23rd, new me the 23rd.
my weekend's been great! so friday, subway for dinner thank god, mustard and swiss cheese as the condiments then tomatoes, lettuce, and cucumbers, along with pepper (no salt!) and hot sauce, which i never knew they had, but it revs the metabolism so i figured what the hell. and it was good. i did slip up a bit, my friend had a lot of ice cream at her place friday, where i went after school til my dad got me for the memorial/wake, so i did slip up and have some junk there.. but to look at it positively, it's like tricking my body with the high calories one day then low the next. i forget about thursday already, ahah kind of a bad thing, but friday i slipped up, but also ate no lunch at least, then saturday i went to a barbecue with my boyfriend and some friends at his mum's friend's house, because they spent the entire day moving (while i was at home cleaning my own place), and i was still invited of course. so i was worried. i know i'm a vegetarian so it was good, but they had corn on the cob (love it!), and pasta salad (hate it anyway), and buns which they offered to me to put like butter on it or something.. i proudly declined it all, and spaced out on my paper plate some tomato slices, cucumber slices, and raw cauliflower. i did get seconds when the guys went for second hamburgers, but i just got some more of the same, no dip (i hate dip anyway, weird, but awesome) and that was my dinner. i was so proud. earlier in the day i had some booster juice, but i chose off the 'lifechoice' menu, i'm assuming the healthier ones, and i checked the calories in it. i had a large even, but i got cranberry crave, and it was only 310 cals! perfect for my 'limit' of 500 cals.. that's in quotations because i don't really have a set limit, just as little as possible, but i like having 500 cals as a kind of guideline, like if i get to that in one day then it's a red flag for me to watch out. so that is all i ate that day. i forgot my water bottle at my friend's friday, so i only managed 1.5 litres saturday, so no crystal light even and no coke zero unfortunately. but i'll do better today, with my plastic water bottle - can't wait to have my regular one back tomorrow! oh and i did have the tiniest bite possible of a piece of cake, just to see if it was worth anything, a sliver - and no it was not. it looked amazing, but it was banana chocolate chip.. like softer, airier, over sweetened banana bread with tiny chocolate chips in it. not exactly what i like in a cake; i barely even like cake. so i had the tiniest bite to taste it, and i was done. i had a few raspberries too, but maybe six or seven.  i was so proud.
today, sunday. i was so close to bingeing. americaneagle saved me, with her post today. it really encouraged me, because even if i slipped up for 60 cals, i don't have to turn that into 300 cals. i can leave it at what damage has been done, and just burn that off on the elliptical and get on with the day. i had one bite of a tiny 'peanut butter fudge no-bake' whatever that is, but it was good. i love peanut butter and chocolate! oh well, not worth regretting later. so they're 59 cals each approximately, so i had about 30 cals maybe, then a little bite of something else i'll call another 30 cals. i'll just hop on the elliptical when i'm done this and be done with it. other than that i've eaten two of the smallest pickles ever, maximum 8 cals really. just waiting for dinner, half a head of cauliflower! ahah seriously that's it, it's incredibly filling and my dad and i eat it regularly for dinner. of course he makes cheese sauce, but i'll go extra easy on the cheese tonight. there's maximum 210 cals in a large head of cauliflower, approximately six or seven inch diameter. so i'll be eating about 105 cals of that, if i can finish it (really, it's that filling with all the fibre!) and some cheese, so i'll make it 250 cals to be safe, for dinner. that equals up to about 320 cals. before i go burn my 60 cals from junk. sorry for not disclosing this previously, but i had ballooned up to a whole 103.5 lbs. yeah, fuck. i don't know how. so i've lost 2.5 lbs from that already, which i was already assuming had to be water weight of some sort, and muscle i've gained - because i've lowered my bmi to 12.1! from 16.4 at the beginning of my fitness class, to 12.1 now. so some weight gained has to be muscle, because i didn't feel particularly fat. but this morning i weighed in at 101 lbs. that was the fast weight loss.. the last few will be harder, to get to 96 lbs. but i know i can do it, with my new plan, everything is working perfectly! can't wait til the next time i have the opportunity to weigh myself, i'll for sure post it! and hoping to take some pictures soon too. i wish everyone the same confidence i've gained, everyone deserves it.