" i am your butter and your bread, the voice that's in your head. i'll take you in and fill you up, with a lack of being fed. "

Friday, December 09, 2011

all i ever wanted

short post, really short post, boyfriend's beside me in exercise science in the lab at school and my screen is near black trying to conceal what i'm doing online. point of this is.. well i got all i ever wanted.
kind of.
i got 95.2 lbs, and now i'm 94.4 lbs. it's all i've ever wanted, to be below 95 lbs.. but god it's not enough. that other girl who's like me, she's 90 lbs right now. i can't believe it. but she looks so thin, way thinner than only 4 lbs lighter. so i don't get it.. don't get why i'm so huge. i'm on my way though, to 92 lbs. my next goal. talk soon lovelies!

4 comments:

  1. Oh, I've only just realised that you say it's not safe because it's hard for you to get time to go on the computer by yourself and not have others see.
    gosh, you're just going to take off when you get your own laptop or phone with internet aren't you!
    I can't believe you are 94lbs. You are totally my inspiration from now on. I will think of your gorgeous 94lbs when I am tempted to eat.

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  2. =( yeaaah it's really inconvenient.. i can't wait for my own laptop! when i graduate i get one. man i will be so much more devoted to the blog world then. til then i have to make do..
    ahah awhh thanks =) i really don't feel worthy of admiration right now.. seeing this other girl at 90 lbs is ridiculous. she just doesn't look the same as me at all, even when she was my weight. she looks ill. i look healthy. it's weird. but healthy is better! thin and healthy. thin and in shape. she's just sickly thin..
    well glad you have inspiration though =)

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  3. Kudos on passing your GW :) I know that I'm going to sound just like the dozens of other people who've told you this, but seeing you now actually worries me, you look weak and sick. this might be only because you were recently sick though. Even then though, 94 is amazing :)Especially without laxies

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  4. it'll never be enough, no weight will ever be low enough. check out my blog, ivegotnothinglefttolose.blogspot.com its all about my journey of recovery

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