i know i keep saying this, but i'm serious this time, well i'm always serious about it but i am more determined now, to upload pictures! i really really want to now. i always meant to before but i was never really comfortable with it exactly i guess.. now, i want them up here. motivation.
speaking of.. i'm sorry i haven't posted lately, but i've been doing so well! i can't remember exactly everything i ate from tuesday to thursday but i'm pretty sure i have the calories in my head. and they are all estimations only, and i overestimate too. so,
tuesday: approximately 650 cals. wednesday: approximately 830 cals. thursday: approximately 850 cals. i know it's been going up it seems, but i also have beenr unning every night, and i worked three hours on tuesday, and three and a half on thursday (last night), which is all clearing tables, wiping tables, settting tables, walking back and forth from hostess stand to tables to bar to kitchen to hostess stand, and it keeps going. always carrying things too, stocking napkins and such, or straws, or when i clear tables, the trays, piled with dishes, glasses, and garbage. thursday was much busier than tuesday, so it works out i ate less tuesday and a little more thursday, because not just from the walking, i burned 350 cals on the treadmill thursday, last night. and then 200 cals on wednesday night, and only like 130 cals or something tuesday.. but it works out, the more you eat, the more you have to exercise.
so why don't i know how much i weigh? i'm terrified of the scale right now. absolutely terrified. i know i've been doing really well but i don't even wake up with morning stomach anymore! what is up with that, i have no idea. i've eaten little bits and pieces past seven, like a piece of banana bread last night (technically dinner i guess) and i had diet coke. i still have my minimum 1.5 L of water too.. been drinking tea and black coffee too.. i don't get it. so, in the absence of my morning stomach, i'm terrified to step on that scale. i feel it determines my success for some reason. i know i can lose weight still without it, but it doesn't feel as good i guess.. i mean if i ate 100 cals a day, and only ate at midnight, i know i'd lose weight. but i wouldn't exactly have morning stomach, wake up with that addictive empty feeling, nearly concave look. my stomach is like my main issue, then my damn upper arms. i won't get into everything i don't like on myself ahah i'll be here all day describing in agonizing detail. so anyway, i guess i'll have to weigh myself tomorrow. whether i like it or not. this sucks. well, love you guys, need to talk to a teacher now abotu school, get my mind off this hopefully at least.
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