first off, does anyone have any good movie suggestions for me? whenever i'm home alone on weekends i like to watch movies online or catch up on my shows online.. last weekend i watched 'girl, interrupted' and right now i'm partway through 'THIN: the documentary' so movies like that.. i'd love some more suggestions! oh and keep in mind i always will overestimate calories for things i don't know about, so all the totals are overestimations here:
monday
breakfast: apple: 60, green tea: 0
lunch: celery: 9, cucumbers: 20, carrots: 30
dinner: two cups soup: 150, broccoli soup: 300
others: crystal light: 10
total: 579
litres: 1.5
tuesday
breakfast: apple: 60, coffee: 0
lunch: celery: 9, cucumbers: 20, green beans: 30
dinner: two cups homemade soup: 100
others: crystal light: 5, two tbsp peanut butter: 180, handful marshmallows: 90
total: 494
litres: 2
wednesday
breakfast: apple: 60, coffee: 0
lunch: celery: 9, cucumbers: 20
dinner: two cups homemade soup: 200
others: crystal light: 10, oatmeal muffin: 200
total: 499
litres: 2.5
thursday
breakfast: apple: 60, green tea: 0
lunch: celery: 9, cucumbers: 20
dinner: two cups homemade soup: 80
others: crystal light: 5, blue menu popcorn: 100
total: 269
litres: 2
friday
breakfast: coffee: 0
lunch: mini mini coffee crisp: 60
dinner: cream of broccoli: 190
others: crystal light: 10, eight danish cookies: 340, smartfood: 390total: 990
litres: 1.5
saturday
breakfast: coffee: 0
lunch: five homemade mini mini oatmeal muffins: 300?
dinner: fettuccine alfredo: 600?
others: crystal light: 10, two smirnoff ice: 476, half a beer: 110, giant kinder egg: 660
total: 2156
litres: 1
sunday
breakfast: coffee: 0, green tea: 0, yogurt: 35
lunch: five cookies: 295
dinner: six perogies: 315 (love perogies! low cal too), sour cream: 50
others: crystal light: 5, homemade whole wheat shortbread: 200, two chocolates: 58
total: 958
litres: 1
fuck. friday, saturday, and sunday almost physically pains me to write. but fuck, saturday. why does drinking do that to me. i am getting smirnoff ice light next time for sure, fuck this. i am so mad at myself. i have to compensate for it. and sunday i don't know what happened all day, it was awful. i baked 'cause i was bored.. i'm a good baker, but i have to stop doing that.
well i at least woke up with morning stomach. miraculously. somehow. last night i realised how gross i've been this weekend and when my dad went to bed around 11:15, i was contemplating going on my elliptical. SNL started at 11:30 as usual, and by midnight i was half watching it and half staring at my elliptical. after the best part of SNL, the weekend update, i tied my running shoes and in my pyjamas off i went. at first i decided to go til SNL was over, 1 am.. then i flipped channels and found the only show on my awful thirteen channel tv (home improvement) and decided i could watch some of it til i hit a loss of 440 cals.. well next thing i knew i was at 500 cals.. then i said well damn i ate that chocolate, i have to get rid of it. so i went til a loss of 700 cals occurred. not exactly drained of energy, but still needing sleep, i went to bed at about 1:45 am. maybe that's how morning stomach cam to be this morning; i don't know who it did but i am not complaining. i can't believe that happened though. this is awful. goddamn!
well today i will be good. i don't know what my dad has in mind for dinner yet as he's not here, as usual, but i can control my portion size. til then i don't think i'll eat anything. just tea and water, one crystal light, maybe some leftover reheated black coffee. i must do well today, and all this week. just one more 0.5 lbs even and i'll be so happy.. to finally get under the 97 lbs mark.. i was browsing through blogs and found a thinspiration one: http://thinspiration-pictures.blogspot.com/ and i don't like all the pictures, but some just struck something in me.. and i just started thinking, i can do this. i could really be that skinny! not everyone can but looking at myself now, i could! so why not take advantage of that? i can do it! it might just take some time.. but i will do it.
as it's easter, i was expecting some sort of easter package in the mail from my mum. well my sister's came, though it should have went to her house and now it's just sitting in mine for a week now taunting me, and mine never did. hey it's coming from malaysia, wouldn't be surprised if it was 'confiscated'.. but i don't care if it was or not. less junk for me! but i told my dad what i wanted; coke zero (i prefer it over diet coke for whatever reason) and popcorn kernels. we have a popcorn popper, and popcorn is only 150 cals for 7.5 cups! and loads of fibre, and it's really filling to me. perfect right? i don't add salt to anything, and at most one tablespoon of butter.. which i'd only do if i had serious cravings or had been really good around then. but i wake up to nothing. nothing but french onion chip dip in my fridge and chips in my cupboard. fuck, dad. that's not what i wanted and you know it. that may all be for when my sister comes tomorrow for a late easter dinner, i believe, so i'm still hoping he'll bring home my easter treats tonight! hah look at me being all optimistic after saturday.. well i have to be, if i'm not then it'll just get worse and worse and i'll be right back up to 100 lbs. so, i've got to stay excited for this week!
to breaking the 97 lbs barrier by may!
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