i am once again obsessing over the internet, scouring for any small distraction i can find. this onyl happens on weekends, and nto ofte anymore, but when it happens, i'm on there for hours - watching tv shows, maybe movies, updating myself on postsecret, cosmopolitan online, cyanide&happiness, then various random sites that just seem to keep popping up. now last semester while 'working' in the library's lab for my anthro summative, i saw a book in the library called 'eat this, not that' and flipped through and saw it had a site, http://www.eatthis.com/.. i spent all work periods in the lab on that site, looking at the disgusting food that exists, and healthiest and worst foods, how to make good decisions in restaurants, etc. so once again i can't log in to my blog at school in that same lab, for whatever reason.. hopefully it'll pass again, so i am writing this in an email to myself on monday, may second, and i thought of running maybe outside before my fitness class, squeeze some extra calorie burning in, but it's so awful out there.. humid, dark grey, puddles.. i might still, if i don't get too caught up again in this site, i love it! of course there are new articles since i've last been there in december, so of course i have to read them all, all the new lists and advice. we'll see how long this takes me first ahah (andd now it's raining, nevermind that idea for today!)
also yesterday i kind of screwed up, because my dad brought out chips and he even got kind of questioning when he was trying to compare two foods and was looking for the calorie content in a fibre1 bar, and couldn't see it as it was separate from the other nutrition info.. i just automatically said, 'oh it's 140 cals' and he just looked at me and asked, 'you already knew that?' i was able to respond casually with 'well i eat one every day, i've read the labels' and i changed topic quickly to show him where it said that on the label and went on to the food comparison. so i felt awkward after that and guiltily ate chips.. uuuuugh. i feel awful! so i exercised for a mere 25 minutes once he went to bed and once i got off the phone with my boyfriend.. it was really late, and i couldn't sleep after that of course.. and i still woke up with a protruding stomach. sexy. not. as i couldn't sleep though, i decided to finally look around for a pink ribbon or thick thread, for a makeshift ednos bracelet. of course with my luck i found nothing of the sort. as i retreated back to my room finally i saw my dresser where i get ready every morning, and noticed what was left over from easter.. you know those gold lindor lindt bunnies? (sooo good!) well from easter i had a decent sized one, and those bigger ones have those red ribbons around them with bows and little gold bells. it gave me an idea, and i got it to fit on my wrist luckily - i've always had tiny wrists, like really small hands too.. people say they're kind of skeletal, seeing how pale i am too.. i love that. anyway so i decided if i can't have pink, red is my next best bet - i'm more ana than anything else, so it's a suitable substitute for now. and i think the bell is perfect because now whenever i raise my hand to my mouth to eat, it'll jingle and make me realise that i am eating and make me see what i am eating. of course i can't have the bell forever, so it's kind of a classical conditioning thing - a bracelet that i see when i go to eat should make me think twice. the bell is for training me. my dad already asked if i was jingling this morning, i just said that it was to remind me to bring something for a class.. for now i'll use the excuse that it worked so i'll try to use that to remind me of everything i need to remember from now on - til i get the pink ribbon of course; no bell is less suspicious and less obvious, but i have to make do with what i have.
so a new month, a new trick, 'new' calorie limit of 900 cals, and soon to come, a new weight.
also yesterday i kind of screwed up, because my dad brought out chips and he even got kind of questioning when he was trying to compare two foods and was looking for the calorie content in a fibre1 bar, and couldn't see it as it was separate from the other nutrition info.. i just automatically said, 'oh it's 140 cals' and he just looked at me and asked, 'you already knew that?' i was able to respond casually with 'well i eat one every day, i've read the labels' and i changed topic quickly to show him where it said that on the label and went on to the food comparison. so i felt awkward after that and guiltily ate chips.. uuuuugh. i feel awful! so i exercised for a mere 25 minutes once he went to bed and once i got off the phone with my boyfriend.. it was really late, and i couldn't sleep after that of course.. and i still woke up with a protruding stomach. sexy. not. as i couldn't sleep though, i decided to finally look around for a pink ribbon or thick thread, for a makeshift ednos bracelet. of course with my luck i found nothing of the sort. as i retreated back to my room finally i saw my dresser where i get ready every morning, and noticed what was left over from easter.. you know those gold lindor lindt bunnies? (sooo good!) well from easter i had a decent sized one, and those bigger ones have those red ribbons around them with bows and little gold bells. it gave me an idea, and i got it to fit on my wrist luckily - i've always had tiny wrists, like really small hands too.. people say they're kind of skeletal, seeing how pale i am too.. i love that. anyway so i decided if i can't have pink, red is my next best bet - i'm more ana than anything else, so it's a suitable substitute for now. and i think the bell is perfect because now whenever i raise my hand to my mouth to eat, it'll jingle and make me realise that i am eating and make me see what i am eating. of course i can't have the bell forever, so it's kind of a classical conditioning thing - a bracelet that i see when i go to eat should make me think twice. the bell is for training me. my dad already asked if i was jingling this morning, i just said that it was to remind me to bring something for a class.. for now i'll use the excuse that it worked so i'll try to use that to remind me of everything i need to remember from now on - til i get the pink ribbon of course; no bell is less suspicious and less obvious, but i have to make do with what i have.
so a new month, a new trick, 'new' calorie limit of 900 cals, and soon to come, a new weight.
I'm glad you managed to cover it up! I have to restrain myself from telling people the calorie content of foods, might raise suspicion. I actually saw some of those gold lindor lindt bunnies in the store a while ago! Very tempted. That's a really good idea for a bracelet, especially the bell! Congrats on having tiny wrists! :)
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