slow motion

so i wish i could've posted sooner.. it's nearly been a week! i feel like the past week has gone by in slow motion.. i was never doing anything quick enough to make time to write. i was caught in a slow motion life, couldn't escape it to get back to reality, to here. i missed this. i thought about writing every day, but i never could. anyway i'll try to be optimistic about this.. kind of hard though 'cause i have to go camping. tomorrow. fuck. i did not like camping the last time i went with my outdoor ed class, and that was for only one night. this is now for three nights, four days. yay. i leave tomorrow, wednesday, morning at like 730.. then we get back home on saturday - yep, i miss part of my weekend - around 530.. so i miss most of my saturday and of course i'm going to want to shower and rest and whatever, not like i have any saturday left to do anything then. at the very least it's a long weekend.. and i don't miss the holiday! victoria day i do believe. so i get that at least to see my boyfriend, who i am going to miss so much! sigh..
everyone's been having really shitty days lately it seems, or what i've caught up on so far since logging on today, in the past week.. i wish all of you love and a smile; we all deserve a smile once in awhile, and we always give each other much needed love - for a world that's supposed to be so dark and warped, we have such supportive and (most of the time) positive people in it. it's wonderful. any of you can pick me up when i feel like i've fallen, and i'd always be happy to do the same for any of you.
so to shed the little positivity i can on my life, about the camping, it is loads of exercise! like really we're constantly being active. if we're not canoeing or portaging the canoes, we're setting up camp, taking it down, getting set for the canoeing/portaging ahead, preparing to cook food, cooking food, campfire activities, etc. and we have 'food groups' like before so in those groups we make a meal plan for the the meals we're camping during and decide who brings what etc. my group likes meat, and yay for vegetarian! never realised how perfect an excuse vegetarianism is for everything, like i made my own personal meal plan and am bringing my own food stuff for myself.. so all healthy! no one in the class cares too much about healthy food, quality of food. they all plan on living off of like kraft dinner, instant noodles, reheated pizza, and id ont' know what else. so i'm having pitas for lunch each day, stuffed with vegetables for the first day so they don't go bad, then hummus for the next and peanut butter, those two to keep up protein to keep me full and fueled for the activity levels. i'm making my own trailmix too, with fibre1 cereal (soo good!) and unsalted almonds and yogurt covered raisins and cranberries. i have other snacks like crystal light, 'cause my god we'll be drinking loads of water - and it takes so much energy to get a bottle (we have to filter it through a pump ourselves) so i burn calories just getting water! how perfect is that? and snacks like green tea too. and breakfasts are like apples, those carnation instant breakfasts (vanilla, to mix with hopefully instant coffe - it tastes good with normal coffee - or if i don't have that, then just water. i'll deal) and then dinners are some whole wheat pasta with plain grilled chicken breasts. so i eat healthily, and exercise like crazy.. i'll calculate tonight what the calories will be each day, bwecause most likely i'll be burning way more than eating. so i'm trying to look at this trip as a bootcamp for weight loss. i'll weigh myself (hopefully i can) in the morning before i leave and then the night i get back as well as the morning after i get back, and hopefully see the difference and hopefully love it. i can't wait to break the goddamn 97 lbs barrier. it is happening by sunday. i've broken out of the slow motion life i was caught in for the past week, and now i'm going full speed and more to catch up for the time lost. i'm so excited for sunday! but, for now, i have to study for a math test i have today.. ugh. i am still so excited to see a brand new number on the scale!
hoping everyone has an awesome week to make up for the past week!